Psalm 141:5 NKJV
“Let the righteous strike me; it shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me; it shall be as excellent oil; let my head not refuse it. For still my prayer is against the deeds of the wicked.”
Embracing Godly Rebuke
My Notes
“Let the righteous strike me; it shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me; it shall be as excellent oil; let my head not refuse it. For still my prayer is against the deeds of the wicked.” Psalm 141:5 (NKJV)
Most of us would rather be complimented by the wrong crowd than corrected by the right friend. David flips that instinct on its head. He would rather be “struck” by the righteous than feasted by the wicked. Why? Because faithful correction, however sharp, is actually a kindness. It doesn’t break the head; it anoints it.
“Let the righteous strike me… let him rebuke me.” David is giving permission before the moment comes. He knows that when correction arrives, pride will try to duck. So he prays ahead of time: “Let my head not refuse it.” That’s wisdom—pre-consenting to discipleship so truth can get past our defenses when we least feel like receiving it.
David uses the image of “excellent oil” to describe a hard, honest confrontation. In the ancient world, oil was used to soothe wounds, refresh the weary, and consecrate priests. David is saying that a well-timed, holy rebuke doesn’t break your head—it heals your heart.
How many of us spend our mornings praying for a fresh anointing from God, expecting it to arrive in a wave of goosebumps or an emotional mountaintop experience, only to miss it when it walks into our room? The fresh anointing you need might actually show up in the straight-dealing, unvarnished correction of a fellow disciple. If an automated script or a human advisor spots an error in our work, we thank them for saving us from failure. Why, then, do we get so angry when a brother or sister in Christ tries to save our character from shipwreck?
True friends run the risk of losing your friendship just to save your soul from a blind spot. Fools resent reproof and dig their heels in, but wise men and women lean into the blow, asking, “Lord, what are You trying to teach me through this?”
David closes this thought with an incredibly noble posture: “For still my prayer is against the deeds of the wicked” (and as he notes, “my prayer also shall be in their calamities”). David promises that if his godly friends use words that feel like heavy blows, he will not respond with sullenness, anger, or silent treatment. He refuses to withhold his prayers or his love when those very same people fall into seasons of crisis.
When we can give our brothers and sisters nothing else, we owe them our prayers—and we owe them double to the ones brave enough to tell us the truth.
Cross References (NKJV)
- Proverbs 27:6 – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
- Proverbs 9:8 – “Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.”
- Proverbs 15:31–32 – “The ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise. He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding.”
- Galatians 6:1 – “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.”
- Psalm 23:5b – “You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over.”
- Amos 5:10 – “They hate the one who rebukes in the gate, and they abhor the one who speaks uprightly.”
Prayer
Abba, You resist the proud but give grace to the humble. I confess that my natural instinct is to reject correction, to make excuses, and to turn against those who point out my faults. Circumcise my ego today. Give me the wisdom of David to see that a righteous rebuke is actually a mercy from heaven. When someone cares enough about my soul to speak a hard truth to me, let my head not refuse it. Let me receive it as an excellent, healing oil. Guard my heart against bitterness, sulking, or retaliation when my pride is wounded. Surround me with faithful friends who love me too much to let me stay in my sin, and give me a deeply grateful, prayerful heart to stand by them in their own days of calamity. I thank You for this in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Key Takeaways
- Flattery is a trap; rebuke is a gift: The smooth words of the world can ruin us, but the heavy raps of a godly friend are designed to build us up.
- Correction is a form of anointing: God frequently answers our prayers for spiritual growth and refreshment through the painful, direct correction of other believers.
- Our response to criticism tests our wisdom: Fools view reproof as an attack on their identity; wise people view it as an investment in their maturity.
- Maturity outlasts conflict: Even if a brother or sister corrects us imperfectly or severely, a mature believer refuses to withhold love or prayer from them when they face trouble.
Some Things to Think About
- The Reflex Check: Think of the last time someone corrected you or called out a fault. What was your immediate internal reaction? Did you defend yourself, minimize it, or receive it humbly?
- The Inner Circle: Do you have people in your life who have full permission to “strike” you with a hard truth? List their names.
- Distinguishing the Oils: How can you tell the difference between the “oil of flattery” from the world and the “excellent oil” of a righteous rebuke?
- Resisting Sullenness: Are you currently holding a grudge or giving the silent treatment to someone who told you an uncomfortable truth? What would it look like to surrender that anger and pray for them today?
- A Prayer for Your Correctors: Take a moment to write a prayer of thanksgiving for a specific person who had the courage to point out a mistake or sin in your life in the past.
Proverb for Today
Open your mouth for the speechless, In the cause of all who are appointed to die. Open your mouth, judge righteously, And plead the cause of the poor and needy. Proverbs 31:8-9 NKJV
Daily Scripture
Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:19-25 NKJV
Closing
“The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26 NKJV
Grace be with you. Amen.
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Summary of Commentaries:
These commentaries highlight that believers should prefer the sharp, loving correction of the righteous over the deceptive flattery of the wicked. Godly rebuke is a kindness that heals and restores like “excellent oil,” rather than causing harm. Fools resent reproof, but wise individuals receive it as a divine blessing and a catalyst for growth. Finally, a mature believer responds to correction without anger, committing to pray faithfully for their rebukers during times of their calamity.
Commentaries:
Charles Spurgeon
“Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness.” He prefers the bitters of gracious company to the dainties of the ungodly. He would rather be smitten by the righteous than feasted by the wicked. He gives a permit to faithful admonition, he even invites it—”let the righteous smite me.” When the ungodly smile upon us, their flattery is cruel; when the righteous smite us, their faithfulness is kind. Sometimes godly men rap hard; they do not merely hint at evil, but hammer at it; and even then, we are to receive the blows in love, and be thankful to the hand which smites so heavily. Fools resent reproof; wise men endeavor to profit by it.
“And let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head.” Oil breaks no heads, and rebuke does no man any harm; rather, as oil refreshes and perfumes, so does reproof when fitly taken sweeten and renew the heart. My friend must love me well if he will tell me of my faults: there is an unction about him if he is honest enough to point out my errors. Many a man has had his head broken at the feasts of the wicked, but none at the table of a true-hearted reprover. The oil of flattery is not excellent; the oil so lavishly used at the banquet of the reveler is not excellent; head-breaking and heart-breaking attend the anointing of the riotous; but it is otherwise with the severest censures of the godly: they are not always sweet, but they are always excellent; they may for the moment bruise the heart, but they never break either it or the head.
“For yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.” Gracious men never grow wrathful with candid friends so as to harbor an ill feeling against them; if so, when they saw them in affliction, they would turn round upon them and taunt them with their rebukes. Far from it; these wisely grateful souls are greatly concerned to see their instructors in trouble, and they bring forth their best prayers for their assistance. They do not merely pray for them, but they so closely and heartily sympathize that their prayers are “in their calamities,” down in the dungeon with them. So true is Christian brotherhood that we are with our friends in sickness or persecution, suffering their griefs; so that our heart’s prayer is in their sorrows. When we can give good men nothing more, let us give them our prayers, and let us do this doubly to those who have given us their rebukes.
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Enduring Word
Let the righteous strike me: David rejected the delicacies of the wicked but embraced the correction that came from the righteous. He recognized that it would be a kindness (hesed) to him. (Guzik)
i. “In case I do offend in word or deed, let me never [lack] a faithful reprover, who may smite me as with a hammer (so the word signifieth), reprove me sharply.” (Trapp)
ii. “When the ungodly smile upon us their flattery is cruel; when the righteous smite us their faithfulness is kind.” (Spurgeon)
iii. “Depend upon it, the man who will tell you your faults is your best friend. It may not be a pleasant thing for him to do it, and he knows that he is running the risk of losing your friendship; but he is a true and sincere friend, therefore thank him for his reproof, and learn how you may improve by what he tells you.” (Spurgeon)
It shall be as excellent oil: The rebuke of a good man could be as healing and helpful to David as excellent oil upon his head. Like a kind anointing from a friend, he would not refuse such rebuke or correction – even if it were as severe as a strike upon him. (Guzik)
i. Excellent oil: “[In] Hebrew a head oil, such as they poured on their friends’ heads; and that was of the best.” (Trapp)
ii. You may want a fresh anointing, yet miss it because it comes to you as correction from a righteous man or woman. “The fresh anointing which you seek in the morning may come not in rapt emotional experiences, but in the straight dealing of some fellow-disciple. Whenever anything is said which finds fault with you and blames you, receive it humbly and tenderly, asking whether it may not contain a message from your Father.” (Meyer)
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Albert Barnes
Let the righteous smite me – The word translated “smite” – חלם châlam – does not elsewhere occur, except in the verse before us. It would apply to any beating or smiting, with the fist, with a hammer, with a weapon of war, and then with “words” – words of reproof, or expressions of disapprobation.
It shall be a kindness – literally, “A kindness;” that is, an act of kindness. The idea is that it would be so intended on their part; it should be so received by him. Whatever might be the wisdom of the advice, or the propriety of yielding to it, or whatever they might say if it were not followed, yet he could regard it as on their part only well-intended. If a certain course which they had advised should be rejected, and if by refusing or declining to follow it one should incur their displeasure, yet that ought to be interpreted only as an act well-intended and meant in kindness.
It shall be an excellent oil – literally, “Oil of the head.” That is, like oil which is poured on the head on festive occasions, or when one is crowned, as a priest, a prophet, or a king. See the notes at Mark 6:13; notes at Luke 4:18-19. Oil thus used for the head, the face, etc., was an indispensable article for the toilet among Orientals. The idea is here that the reproof of the righteous should be received as readily as that which contributed most to comely adorning and comfort, or that which diffused brightness, cheerfulness, joy.
Which shall not break my head – Or rather, Which my head shall not (or, should not) refuse; which it should welcome. The word rendered break should not have been so translated. The Hebrew word – הניא hāniy’, is from נוא nû’ – in Hiphil, to negative; to make naught; then to refuse, to decline, to deny. It is rendered “discourage” in Numbers 32:7, Numbers 32:9 (Margin, “break”); “disallow,” Numbers 30:5 (“twice”), Numbers 30:8, Numbers 30:11; “make of none effect,” Psalms 33:10; “break,” in the passage before us. It does not elsewhere occur. The idea is, “If such reproof comes on me for the faithful doing of what I regard as wise and best, I ought no more to reject it than the head would refuse the oil poured on it, to make the person healthful and comely.”
For yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities – I will not be sullen, displeased, angry, or revengeful. I will not refuse to pray for them when trials come upon them, because they have not approved of my course, because they have reproved me for not following their counsel, because they have used words that were like heavy blows. I will cherish no malice; I will not be angry; I will not seek to be revenged. I will not turn away from them when trouble comes on them. I will love them, cherish with gratitude the memory of the kindness they meant, and pray for them in the time when they especially need prayer. Should they now rebuke me rather than pray for me, yet I will not in turn “rebuke” them in similar trials, but “will pray for them,” as though nothing of this had happened. Noble spirit – indicative of what should always be the spirit of a good man. Our friends – even our pious friends – may not be always “wise” in their advice, and they may be severe in their reproofs if we do not follow their counsel; yet let us receive all as well-intended, and let us not in anger, in sullenness, or in revenge, refuse to aid them, and to pray for them in trouble, though they were “not” wise, and though they used words of severity toward us.
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John Gill
Let the righteous smite me, [it shall be] a kindness,…. Or, “smite me in kindness”. In love, in a loving and friendly manner, which makes reproofs the more agreeable and effectual. Not the righteous God, as Arama; though he does sometimes smite his people for their sins, Isaiah 57:17; that is, reproves, corrects, and chastises them, and that in love and for their good; and therefore such smitings and corrections should be taken in good part by them, and received as fatherly chastisements, and as instances of his paternal care of them, and love to them; but rather righteous and good men; who, when there is occasion for it, should reprove and rebuke one another; but then it should be in a kind and tender manner, and with the spirit of meekness; and such reproofs should be as kindly received: “for faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful,” Proverbs 27:6. Or, “let the righteous beat me with kindness” or “goodness”; with precepts of goodness, by inculcating good things into him; which he should take, as if he overwhelmed and loaded him with benefits; even though it was like striking with a hammer, as the word signifies;
and let him, reprove me; which explains what is meant by smiting;
[it shall be] an excellent oil, [which] shall not break my head; give no pain nor uneasiness to his head or his heart, but rather supple and heal the wounds sin reproved for has made. The Targum is, “the oil of the anointing of the sanctuary shall not cease from my head,” with which he was anointed king; and signifies that he should enjoy the dignity, and continue in it. The Vulgate Latin, Syriac, and Arabic versions render it, “the oil of the ungodly,” or “sinners”: meaning their flattering words, which, though smooth as oil, were deceitful; and therefore he deprecates them, “let not the oil of the wicked,” &c. as being hurtful and pernicious;
for yet my prayer also [shall be] in their calamities; that is, when the righteous, that smote and reproved him for his good, should be in any distress; such a grateful sense should he retain of their favor in reproving him, that he would pray for them, that they might be delivered out of it; which would show that he took it kindly at their hand. Or, “in their evils,” or “against them,”; which some understand of the evil practices of wicked men, which the psalmist prayed against, and that he might be kept and delivered from.
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Matthew Henry
David desires to be told of his faults. His enemies reproached him with that which was false, which he could not but complain of; yet, at the same time, he desired his friends would reprove him for that which was really amiss in him, particularly if there was anything that gave the least color to those reproaches (v. 5): let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness. The righteous God (so some); “I will welcome the rebukes of his providence, and be so far from quarreling with them that I will receive them as tokens of love and improve them as means of grace, and will pray for those that are the instruments of my trouble.” But it is commonly taken for the reproofs given by righteous men; and it best becomes those that are themselves righteous to reprove the unrighteousness of others, and from them reproof will be best taken. But if the reproof be just, though the reprover be not so, we must make a good use of it and learn obedience by it. We are here taught how to receive the reproofs of the righteous and wise.
1. We must desire to be reproved for whatever is amiss in us, or is done amiss by us: “Lord, put it into the heart of the righteous to smite me and reprove me. If my own heart does not smite me, as it ought, let my friend do it; let me never fall under that dreadful judgment of being let alone in sin.”
2. We must account it a piece of friendship. We must not only bear it patiently, but take it as a kindness; for reproofs of instruction are the way of life (Prov. 6:23), are means of good to us, to bring us to repentance for the sins we have committed, and to prevent relapses into sin. Though reproofs cut, it is in order to a cure, and therefore they are much more desirable than the kisses of an enemy (Prov. 27:6) or the song of fools, Eccl. 7:5. David blessed God for Abigail’s seasonable admonition, 1 Sa. 25:32.
3. We must reckon ourselves helped and healed by it: It shall be as an excellent oil to a wound, to mollify it and close it up; it shall not break my head, as some reckon it to do, who could as well bear to have their heads broken as to be told of their faults; but, says David, “I am not of that mind; it is my sin that has broken my head, that has broken my bones, Ps. 51:8. The reproof is an excellent oil, to cure the bruises sin has given me. It shall not break my head, if it may but help to break my heart.”
4. We must requite the kindness of those that deal thus faithfully, thus friendly with us, at least by our prayers for them in their calamities, and hereby we must show that we take it kindly. Dr. Hammond gives quite another reading of this verse: “Reproach will bruise me that am righteous, and rebuke me; but that poisonous oil shall not break my head (shall not destroy me, shall not do me the mischief intended), for yet my prayer shall be in their mischiefs, that God would preserve me from them, and my prayer shall not be in vain.”
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